Ah, temptation. Apple, why do you taunt me so? I only have so many dollars, and so much room in my tiny Brooklyn apartment. Alright, alright, Apple, I know what you are going to say, “But surely, Athena, you have enough room for the world’s thinnest laptop! You should give us your hard-earned $1800 and have another computer, a more portable computer, a sexier, sleeker computer.” Can’t you just hear the hissing of the ’s’ in sexier and sleeker? Well, Apple, you aren’t going to like what I am going to say. For once, I will resist temptation, but more out of practicality, than lack of desire.

Well, I have a very, incredibly long, tumultuous at times, history with Apple. Especially for being as young as I am. Let’s just say when I was two, the Macintosh was first introduced in that now infamous Ridley Scott commercial. I digress. My first Apple computer was a Macintosh Performa 200. For those of you not in the know, that was the little rectangular brick looking thing that had a grayscale screen and a 3.5″ floppy drive. I would do all sorts of things on that first computer. Oregon Trail, of course, was top choice, but what to do after you have forded the Snake River and all of your companions die because your oxen just weren’t tall enough?

Well, duh. Crash your computer and rebuild it from the bottom up.

Alright, so maybe we all didn’t crash our computers out of boredom so we could fix them. (By the way, not to toot my own horn, but that computer made it well into old age, and was the primary computer my brother used to write his first novel on, so, even though I was young and foolish, I was doing something right.) Suffice it to say, I know my computers. Specifically, I know my Macs. I anthropomorphize each and every one that crosses my path. Each have their own personality, their own flairs, their own flaws. For instance, the computer I type this on right now, his name is Buster Johnny 5. He is totally punk rock, has a penchant for the Ramones, and likes to drive fast, and never sits still. He is still new to my world, but already he is a stellar producer, and great mechanical companion. He even has stickers.

I love my computers. I love my gadgets (I have an iPhone named Eno). I could tell you about each computer I have ever had, quirks, projects I worked on, places we’ve been together. So I am a fangirl to the n-th degree. I am a huge geek, and I love it. And I love Apple.

I just don’t love the MacBook Air. Tempting? Yes. If someone approached me in my own personal Garden of Eden, The Apple Store, and showed me the Mac Book Air, with all its shininess, sleekness, and sexiness, I would surely (if I were still proverbially naked, so in this case, completely unaware of my debt) buy one.

And then, after a quick spin, I would probably feel slighted and used. Sexy as it may be, the specs just aren’t there. A 4200 RPM drive? What is this my Performa 200? I’m fast, I need speed! When I heard the stirring on the interwebs about an ultra-portable, I was stoked. I had a 12″ PowerBook, which my girlfriend now proudly totes around law school, and loved him dearly. I was hoping for another tiny powerhouse to be my companion in any situation.

Let down.

I guess everything else is really alright with the machine. No optical drive? I know I am a little sketched out, too (What if I need to do another reinstall?). $99 isn’t all that much for an external Super Drive. I do think those processors could use a bump, but other than that, 2 GB of RAM is fine for most professional creative applications, but God! 4200 RPM? And an additional $1300 for a Solid State Flash drive? Oh, jeez!

Well, I think I am going to sit this one out. Alright, who am I kidding? I would have ordered one already if I hadn’t just purchased Buster a month or two ago. But I still think I would have been disappointed and selling it on eBay a month or six later, when the iTablet finally hits stores.